Men Vs Society

By Nash – From His Diary of a Loving Heart

Because of social conditioning, the only emotion we've allowed men to express is anger. And that’s tragic.

When a man loses his wife, he's told to "be strong" — to take it like a man. In movies, he’s surrounded by violence: breaking things in the house, smashing photo albums and glasses, punching walls. He picks fights at work or at the bar, then goes to bed with a black eye.
That’s the script we’ve written for him.
That’s how we’ve taught him to grieve — through destruction.
Shame on us.
Wrong!

When a man loses his job, he’s expected to stay strong. After all, he’s “the head of the family.” But what if his wife is unsupportive? What if he can no longer provide? Depression seeps in. And we don’t give him room to feel it. We don’t allow it.

That’s how we criminalized Chester.
How dare he crumble to depression?
How dare he take his life — even with six children and a loving wife?
Sissy. Weakling.
Stoicism.
Wrong!

On social media, men are mocked for showing emotion. When they express vulnerability, we say “waache umama!” As though feeling is only for women. So what happens?
They shut down.
They lash out.
They insult.
Not because they’re hateful — but because they’re hurting and have no safe space to say so.
Wrong again.
Shame on us!

When a woman cheats, we don’t let the man grieve. Instead, we blame him.
"Why didn’t he satisfy her in bed?"
"Why didn’t he buy her a Range Rover?"
We drown him in shame. And in his pain, he spirals — bedding and discarding anyone he can, just to feel something. Just to feel man enough.
That is what we’ve labeled manly.

Eventually, the pain consumes him.
He takes his own life.
Or worse, he takes others with him.
Wife. Kids. Himself.
And we all suffer.
Shame on us!

When will we create spaces where men can deal with life’s adversities — humanly?
When will we tell them that heartbreak, grief, and vulnerability are not weaknesses, but truths of being alive?
What values are we really teaching? That silence is strength? That crying is failure?

I once saw a father weep as he buried his daughter. Not once did the word “weak” cross my mind.

So I ask:
Why can’t a man seek advice from a woman?
What happened to teaching our sons values like integrity, fairness, compassion, and emotional honesty?

If you have a boyfriend, husband, brother, uncle, father, or son — BE THERE FOR THEM.

Any man who drinks from New Year to Christmas is not celebrating.
He is troubled.
Any man with uncontrollable anger is not dangerous.
He is in pain.
Any man who suffers loss without an outlet —
He is not broken.
He is unheard.

It’s up to all of us — yes, US! — to create safe spaces for them.

We resume tomorrow, shall we?

As always... Dum, Spiro, Spero.
While I Breathe, I Hope.

Team tetea cares

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